I Want Your Peepers
by DeliciousKrabKakes
Summary: Summary: Peeps is back and he wants Mordecai's eyes for their unmatched staring capabilities. Without a way to stare-contest their way out of this one, are Mordecai's eyes as good as gone? (Photo ripped from images and edited slightly. NOT MINE.) *UPDATES ARE INFREQUENT*
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER:**

 **I, DeliciousKrabKakes of fanfiction (dot net), do not own or have any affiliation with the creators of** **Regular** **Show** **. All rights respectfully go to J.G. Quintel and Cartoon Network. I do not gain any sort of profit from writing these stories, I simply write for fun.**

 _Summary: Peeps is back and he wants Mordecai's eyes for their unmatched staring capabilities. Without a way to stare-contest their way out of this one, are Mordecai's eyes as good as gone?_

I Want Your Peepers

 _Prologue_

"I've waited enough. Recuperated enough." A dark voice echoed through an even darker room, speaking to three men in suits. "I want his eyes. I shall not rest until they are part of my… collection..." A chair spun to reveal a giant eyeball by the name of Peeps, looking worse for wear after his encounter with the park gang, still quite bloodshot and with a visible blind-spot. He turned his gaze to the right and the light flicked on to reveal a grotesque wall of stolen eyeballs in glass jars.

"As each of my many backup eyes grows weary, I require sufficient replacements, as you know. These eyes… They're unlike anything I've encountered previously; they were glorious! Staring for hours on end without fail! These magnificent eyes shall become the forefront of my many backups, and I feel that they shan't quit for a length, which is something I can use." Peeps chuckled as a picture of a blue jay appeared on a large screen before him. The photo quickly zoomed in on the bird's eyes which, indeed, were in good condition.

"Wondrous…" The eye marveled before flicking off the screen and lights once more, turning his chair away from his associates.

"You know what to do. Take his eyes. I don't care what you do with him after, so long as the eyes are safe. Whatever you do, don't fail me; before anything else, I want those… Perfect eyes…" The eyeball then flicked the screen back on to look at his prize longingly, the men taking their cue to leave and prepare for the task ahead of them.

"Soon, those eyes will be mine, and there's nothing you can do about it… Mordecai Quintel."

 **R &R please! Tell me what you think! Should I keep going with this or no?**


	2. Burrito Burglary

**DISCLAIMER:**

 **I, DeliciousKrabKakes of fanfiction (dot net), do not own or have any affiliation with the creators of** **Regular** **Show** **. All rights respectfully go to J.G. Quintel and Cartoon Network. I do not gain any sort of profit from writing these stories, I simply write for fun.**

 _Summary: Peeps is back and he wants Mordecai's eyes for their unmatched staring capabilities. Without a way to stare-contest their way out of this one, are Mordecai's eyes as good as gone?_

* * *

I Want Your Peepers

 _Chapter_ _One_ : _Burrito_ _Burglary_

* * *

"Buh-reee-toees!" Rigby held up four burritos with a grin, Mordecai whooping in agreement.

"Yeh-Yuh! Burrito lunches!" Muscle Man and Fives were beside the duo, munching on their own triple-threat meat burritos, laughing about "my mom" jokes and high-fiving one another. The four set down to a meaty, beany, and all-around awesome lunch break outside of Greg's Grub Hut.

Two men looked on in observance from another table, one of them holding a picture. Peeps' men. The taller of the two, known only as Red, held the picture up to the table and compared it to the blue jay eating his burrito. The second, who was nicknamed Clippy (and whose real name was Clifton), tapped impatiently at his eye-removal tools in his duffel bag.

"Come on, is it him? I want to do this now! I need some action!" Clippy groaned in exasperation. Red glared.

"Quiet. It's him but he's surrounded. We have to get him on his own, somehow. We can't let anyone else muck this job up for us. You know how… upset Peeps would be." He shuddered to think of his own eyes being removed and set in a glass jar as opposed to the blue jay's.

"We need to take our time with this one, Clip. Peeps was real adamant about this one. He really wants these eyes." Clippy sighed but relented.

"Fine. Better him than me." He shrugged while looking over to the bird, who was currently using the tinfoil that had housed his burrito to make a tinfoil goose.

"I just don't understand why these eyes are so special. He's, like, crazy over them." Red rolled his eyes.

"Look, all I care about is making sure that it's not _my_ eyes in a jar. He could want to eat the eyes, for all I give a penny."

"'Give a penny'? Is that even a thing?"

"Shut up, Clippy, I'm observing."

* * *

Mordecai chuckled at seeing his three companions rush the bathroom as soon as they got into the house.

"Weak sauce." He grinned, seating himself on the couch to wait until they were done wrecking the plumbing system so that they could get ready for game night. Benson had gone with Pops to get the games they would play (Pops always picked the least fun of all games, so Benson was a mediator) and Skips was off in his shed doing… Skips things. They'd all be back before seven, when game night was officially started. The blue jay contented himself by putting his feet up before he heard the urgent beeping of a horn. Sighing dramatically, he hoisted himself from the couch and went outside-expecting to find Benson and Pops needing help bringing in whatever game they had picked out. What he didn't expect, however, was to find a large, white van with the 'Peeps' logo on it. Hadn't they defeated Peeps and he'd gone blind? Mordecai frowned and turned back to call for Rigby, Muscle Man and Fives when he felt a sharp stabbing in the back of his head, the crack of his skull being fractured, and a sack being thrown over his face. The bird was unconscious before he hit the ground, when Red slung his target over his shoulder and booked it to the van. Tossing the 23-year-old inside the trunk of the van carelessly, Red punched Clippy and told him to drive back to HQ.

"Go! Before he comes to! I wanna avoid a fight, man." Clippy scoffed but followed instructions, nonetheless, speeding away from the park in a flurry of dust and squealing tires.

* * *

 **Dwarf chapter, I know. I'm just a bit out of inspiration and I'm forcing myself to write. Feel free to drop a review and some ideas!**


	3. Eyes of Argus

**I, DeliciousKrabKakes, of FanFiction (dot net), do not own or have any affiliation with the creators of** **Regular** **Show** **. All rights respectfully go to J.G. Quintel and Cartoon Network. I do not gain any sort of profit from writing these stories, I simply write for fun.**

 _Summary: Peeps is back and he wants Mordecai's eyes for their unmatched staring capabilities. Without a way to stare-contest a way out of this one, are Mordecai's eyes as good as gone?  
_

 _ **A**_ _**Word: There's some Greek myth in here. The story is mostly stuck to that of Argus Panoptes but I used some creative vision and altered the myth for the purposes of my story. If you want to look up the real story, my recommendation is greekmythology (dot com) under the article 'Io' (there's more info there than on Argus' article-which is weird but we'll go with it).**_

I Want Your Peepers

 _Chapter_ _Two_ _:_ _Eyes_ _of_ _Argus_

Mordecai groaned as he woke up from being unconscious. A high-pitched ringing in his ears and the dizzy feeling in his hazy mind told him that he had a concussion. His head throbbed painfully and his body felt sore. Before he even had his thoughts collected, he felt himself being rotated from what felt like a standing position into a laying-down position. He was strapped to a sort of operating table that could be moved, apparently. He gasped and moaned louder as the agony in his head mounted again and he felt like he was going to vomit.

"You idiots! You hit his head too hard for this operation to be a success! His pupils are _dilated_!" A vicious voice rumbled throughout the enclosed space Mordecai knew he was trapped in. A second voice entered the fray, sounding timid and hesitant.

"W-Well, we wanted to, y'know, get him in the van without having his buddies gang us on us. So Me n' Red knocked him out." There was a very loud, annoyed sigh.

"In doing so, gentlemen, you gave him a concussion! You made his eyes all but worthless for the time being!" Silence. "... Take them away and bring them into the next room. I needed more replacement retinas anyway." This comment was followed by screaming and protests as the two men who had kidnapped Mordecai were dragged away to have their eyes removed. The pieces put themselves together in the blue jay's damaged train of thought. Removing someone's eyes wasn't exactly a common thing to come by; but he'd encountered it before. The voice that his addled brain had heard had, indeed, sounded somewhat familiar but he'd been unable to place it until now. It was Peeps, undoubtedly, what with his obsession with eyes-being a giant eyeball and all.

Despite the pounding agony in his skull and knowing the men were responsible for it (and also responsible for him being strapped to a cold table at Peeps' mercy; can't forget that), Mordecai found himself feeling bad for the two men-nobody deserved such a horrible fate, even if they _were_ total jerk-wads.  
Mordecai was jerked upright again, making the blue jay gag and cough. A snort from Peeps was heard across the room.  
"Pathetic. To think that the eyes of Argus would take home in the likes of you, a worthless slack-off." He spat and Mordecai grunted in pain.  
"... Wha… What're you talking a-about?" He slurred, mind in a heavy fog from his concussion. He found the strength to open his eyes. The blurred and unreliable vision of a spinning room visited his eyes, the white and green of a giant eyeball also held its own space in his line of sight. Peeps scoffed.  
"Thicker than a cold pea soup, also. Wonderful. Very well, boy. Listen with rapt ears; I'll only tell you this once out of the kindness of my… well, just listen." Peeps snapped and Mordecai let his eyes close, he was getting dizzy from seeing the room spin and knew that he'd only be able to listen if he stopped the spinning.  
"975 B.C. in Greece, the Heroic Age. Also the age of Argus Panoptes, the giant with fifty pairs of eyes. He was employed by the Hera to guard a woman in white pursued by her husband, Zeus. His eyes were known to be the greatest in all of Greece because while some eyes closed and rested, others could stare and continue to do so until the time came when they could rest. Under Zeus' command, another god named Hermes killed Argus. Zeus got his woman in white and Argus suffered a rock to the head. To honor his sacrifice, Hera set ninety-eight of his eyes into the tail-feathers of the peacock." Mordecai let his boredom be known by sighing melodramatically.  
"Does this… _ever_ end? Or... e-even have a… a point?" If Peeps even heard him, there was no acknowledgement.

"The last pair of Argus' great eyes was given as a gift from Hera to a blind Grecian by the name of Crantites. Since then, the eyes of Argus have passed down that family line through every third son born. I have been studying your eyes, Mordecai. It seems more than apparent to me that _you_ have the eyes of Argus. Your great-grandfather had them before you, and his great-grandfather before him. On which side, I care not. History is of little use when I see my prize in front of me. So close, yet there's naught that can be done in the moment. Not while your head needs healing. Consider yourself lucky by mistake, boy. As soon as your head heals, the eyes of Argus will belong to me and I will be _invincible_." He cackled before Mordecai was, again, rotated back to his laying position and the lights were turned off with a resounding 'click'.  
"Sleep well. Do rest those eyes for me." Mordecai groaned again when the door slammed, leaving him alone but for his pain and the consuming darkness.

 _ **Sate you for a while? If not, well sah-ree! I'm going to try and put some focus in here when I can. I'm out of college classes for the summer but I work in hell-I mean, in a grocer. Ugh, I'm getting frustrated even thinking about it.**_

 _ **Tah, my doves. Do leave me a review, won't you?**_


End file.
